Permission Slips
A couple of days ago my grocery delivery was over an hour late. When the driver finally arrived, I asked how he was doing. It was brutal out there even at 10 am, and they were running significantly behind after a warehouse fridge breakdown knocked everything out of kilter..
He said his office had told them: don’t rush, it’s too hot, drink plenty, be gentle on yourselves.
And I thought: good. I’m glad. That’s exactly right.
Then I thought: why does it take a heatwave?
Why does there have to be an external, measurable, undeniable reason that affects everyone before we’re allowed to ease up on ourselves? The heat is visible. Quantifiable. Everyone agrees it’s real. So the permission feels legitimate. Justified. Nobody’s going to argue with 35 degrees.
But what about every other day? Where nothing that affects everyone is happening. The days when you’re tired for no dramatic reason, or anxious about something that feels vague but very much in your body, or you’re just running on less than you’d like. Those days don’t come with a permission slip. So most of us don’t give ourselves one.
I see this constantly in the people I work with. The sense that softness toward yourself requires a reason good enough to hold up under scrutiny. That rest needs to be earned. That eating what your body wants and needs, being kind to yourself, easing up – these feel like indulgences unless something external forces the issue.
The grocery driver was allowed to be human that day because the temperature said so. You get to be human on any day you choose, no extreme conditions required.
Hi, I'm Vania Phitidis.
I'm a counsellor and therapist who is passionate about helping people navigate the quiet, meaningful shifts that lead to a more peaceful and connected life.
What I’ve come to realise is that lasting change doesn’t come from trying harder or being more disciplined — it comes from slowing down, listening inward, and gently untangling the stories we’ve been carrying for far too long.
My counselling and therapy is a space where you can pause, reflect, and reconnect with yourself in a compassionate and supportive way. Whether you’re facing emotional overwhelm, navigating life transitions, or simply longing for a quieter mind, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you on that journey.
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